


FBI - Message Me

by Aesthetically_Ocean



Series: FBI Stories [2]
Category: FBI (TV 2018)
Genre: But we still love them, F/M, I may or may not have made them act like a bunch of nerds, Why the fuck is it showing Amira as a relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-10-23 10:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17681960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesthetically_Ocean/pseuds/Aesthetically_Ocean
Summary: 1 - Late night talk2 - Ice Cream And Crushes3 -  < Coming Soon!> StoryTime!





	1. Late Night Talk

**Kristen created a group chat!**

**+Kristen added Dana Mosier**

**+Kristen added Jubal Valentine**

**+Kristen added Maggie Bell**

**+Kristen added Omar Adom Zidan**

**+Kristen added Ian Lentz**

**+Kristen added Ray Stapleton**

 

 **Kristen changed the chats name to -** **_Invisible_ **

 

**_Invisible_ **

 

**KristenChazal changed her username to Smartie**

 

 **Smartie -** Are any of you up?

Read 3:12

 

 **MaggieBell -** Why? Are you in trouble?

Read 3:13

 

 **RayStapleton -** It’s three in the morning and we just finished an all nighter

Read 3:13

 

 **RayStapleton -** I need to sleeppp

Read 3:13

 

 **DanaMosier -** You all have tomorrow off. You shouldn’t be complaining.

Read 3:14

 

 **DanaMosier-** Unlike you , I don’t have breaks as often.

Read 3:14

 

**JubalValentine changed his name to ineedtoshootsomeone**

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** I’m still up doing paperwork

Read 3:15

 

 **Smartie -** I’m gonna expose some here really badly

Read 3:16

 

 **MaggieBell -** I swear to god if you expose me I will expose you so hard you’ll wake up into next week

Read 3:16

 

 **DanaMosier -**???

3:17

 

 **Smartie -** Assistant Director Jubal had a photo of you, Director, in his desk. You seem lot younger though

Read 3:18

 

 **IanLentz -** I wake up to this shit

Read 3:18

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone-** Watch your language

Read 3:18

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** How did you find out

Read 3:18

 

 **DanaMosier-** Please don’t tell me it’s the photo you took while we we’re in Romania

Read 3:19

 

 **IanLentz -** Goodnight to you all

Read 3:19

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** Dana please don’t get pissed

Read 3:20

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** But it’s the one from Hawaii

Read 3:20

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** With Scarlet

Read 3:20

 

 **MaggieBell -** who’s Scarlet

Read 3:21

 

 **Smartie -** Scarlet?

Read 3:21

 

 **RayStapleton-** Who tf is Scarlet

Read 3:21

 

 **DanaMosier -** She was mine alright

Read 3:21

 

 **DanaMosier -** You took her away from me and then poof

Read 3:22

 

 **DanaMosier -** She disappears

Read 3:22

 

 **MaggieBell -** Was she kidnapped

Read 3:22

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** No

Read 3:23

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** I won her fair and square

Read 3:23

 

 **Smartie -** Wait you did a bet on her

Read 3:24

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** yes

Read 3:24

 

 **DanaMosier-** yes

Read 3:24

 

 **RayStapleton-** that’s illegal

Read 3:25

 

 **Smartie -** your illegal

Read 3:25

 

 **RayStapleton -** your mom’s illegal

Read 3:25

 

 **Smartie -** your life’s illegal

Read 3:25

 

**RayStapleton changed his name to BurntChicken**

 

 **MaggieBell-** I’m still confused did you both like her or something?

Read 3:26

 

 **DanaMosier-** He stole her from me

Read 3:27

 

 **DanaMosier -** Although I got revenge by accidentally blowing up his very, very expensive car

Read 3:27

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** By accident you mean by throwing the bomb into my car

Read 3:27

 

 **BurntChicken -** how expensive are we talking back then

Read 3:28

 

 **DanaMosier-** about half a million

Read 3:28

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** making the car go in reverse

Read 3:28

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** landing itself into the ocean

Read 3:28

 

 **Smartie -** damn that’s harsh

Read 3:28

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** then it blows up in the god damn ocean

Read 3:29

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** and the left rear view mirror hitting me in the back of the head

Read 3:30

 

 **BurntChicken -** I hope demons come for you all tonight

Read 3:30

 

 **Smartie -** your the only demon here retard

Read 3:30

 

 **MaggieBell-** I want Korean BBQ

Read 3:31

 

 **BurntChicken -** Hey their’s like this weird legend about this Japanese demon that’s like 7 feet tall and hella skinny but comes after children

Read 3:31

 

 **MaggieBell -** _I SAID KOREAN_

Read 3:31

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** why do you know this

Read 3:31

 

 **Smartie -** tf

Read 3:31

 

 **BurntChicken -** Oh there’s this other one where this girl had her mouth cut open and like she got a knife and comes after kids too who say she ain’t pretty

Read 3:32

 

 **DanaMosier -** should I be worried by the fact you know this

Read 3:32

 

 **MaggieBell -** probably

Read 3:32

 

 **Smartie -** yes

Read 3:32

 

 **BurntChicken-** no

Read 3:33

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** I’m gonna make you retake a mental evaluation again.

Read 3:33

 

 **BurntChicken -** Me and Ian decided we should both go and try and summon a demon

Read 3:33

 

**DanaMosier changed her name to MotherOfIdiots**

 

 **MotherOfIdiots -** I’m sending you both for therapeutic sessions

Read 3:34

 

 **IanLentz -** _stOp eXpOSiNg mE pLEaSe_

Read 3:34

 

 **BurntChicken -** I though you were too busy trying to sleep

Read 3:34

 

 **IanLentz -** What if we suddenly get called in? We need to be at the top of our game.

Read 3:35

 

 **Smartie -** We have tomorrow of

Read 3:35

 

 **Smartie -** *off

Read 3:35

 

 **Smartie -** You keep forgetting

Read 3:35

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** And if theres suddenly a bomb threat

Read 3:36

 

 **MaggieBell -** You know that NCIS agency has performed better over the past decade or so

Read 3:36

 

 **MaggieBell -** I mean, what’s up with that

Read 3:36

 

 **BurntChicken -** For a small agency - they do a hell lot of good

Read 3:37

 

 **MotherOfIdiots -** They’ve broken the rules often, I’m surprised they haven’t gone to jail yet.

Read 3:37

 

 **Smartie -** Oh they have, although they seem to have there ways of getting out

Read 3:37

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** Their director, Leon Vance, can do a hell load of good too - took down some of the world’s most dangerous terriosts too

Read 3:38

 

 **MaggieBell -** They have agencies in Washington, Los Angles, and in New Orleans

Read 3:39

 

 **MaggieBell -** They are solving crimes for the Navy after all

Read 3:39

 

 **MaggieBell -** Maybe it has too with the fact that there a one huge dysfunctional family separated into three smaller families

Read 3:39

 

 **ineedsomeonetoshoot -** Yeah yeah, good for them

Read 3:40

 

 **BurntChicken -** I’m sorry, no one remembers that fact that they deal with the Navy and we deal with the shit on land

Read 3:40

 

 **Smartie-** kidnapping and murders if just another day on the job

Read 3:41

 

 **MotherOfIdiots -** Well you seem happy about that

Read 3:41

 

 **IanLentz-** Please go to sleep

Read 3:41

 

 **Smartie -** no

Read 3:42

 

 **MotherOfIdiots -** I have paperwork to finish

Read 3:42

 

 **BurntChicken -** Your the only one here complaining about it

Read 3:42

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** has anyone heard from OA

Read 3:43

 

 **MaggieBell -** He said he was going out with his sister yesterday

Read 3:43

 

 **BurntChicken -** welllllllll wasertcuuhop

Read 3:44

 

 **MotherOfIdiots -** Agent Stapleton?

Read 3:44

 

 **MotherOfIdiots -** Are you in trouble?

Read 3:44

 

 **IanLentz -** Hold on I’m calling him

Read 3:44

 

 **Smartie -** Where does he live

Read 3:45

 

 **MaggieBell -** Director can you active GPS tracker on his phone?

Read 3:45

 

 **BurntChicken -** Y’all need to calm down

Read 3:46

 

 **BurntChicken -** I’m alive

Read 3:46

 

 **Smartie -** I’m literally finished with having a heart attack now

Read 3:46

 

 **IanLentz -** Don’t worry I called him and he woke up

Read 3:47

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** Forget your sleep

Read 3:47

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** Your all needed back at Ops - we now have a bomb threat at the next Mets game - and missing military software stolen 10 minutes ago.

Read 3:48

 

 **IanLentz -** This is all your faults

Seen 3:48

 


	2. Ice Cream and Crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Screaming*

< Takes two days after the last one >

 

**Maggie Bell created a group chat!**

**+Maggie added Smartie**

**\+ Maggie added Amira Zidan**

**Maggie changed the chats name to -** **_Mean Girls_ **

 

**_Mean Girls_ **

 

 **MaggieBell -** I’m on my thing again

 

 **Smartie -** Okay - official girls meeting now

 

 **AmiraZidan -** So, wait, we’re not up for going ice skating in Rockefeller center?

 

 **MaggieBell -** [>->]

 

 **Smartie -** Alright, I’m bringing over ice cream now.

 

 **AmiraZidan -** okie dokie

 

 **Smartie -** You want anything Amira?

 

 **AmiraZidan -** Besides from a life? No not really

 

 **MaggieBell -** o-O

 

 **Smartie -** I’m picking up some Snickers, you want?

 

 **AmiraZidan -** No, who likes snickers

 

 **MaggieBell -** * dramatic gasps *

 

 **Smartie -** So I found out who Scarlet is.

 

 **AmiraZidan -** Who’s that?

 

 **MaggieBell -** some girl Jubal and Director Mosier was fighting over

 

 **Smartie -** It’s not a girl

 

 **MaggieBell -**???

 

 **Smartie -** It’s a car

 

 **AmiraZidan -** Eh??? I’m confused

 

 **MaggieBell -** And here I thought they bought a women

 

 **Smartie -** Scarlet was the name of some 1969 Dodge or something

 

 **Smartie -** Looked really nice to drive in

 

 **AmiraZidan-** Kristen is my brother okay

 

 **Smartie -** Yeah, he’s with Jubal

 

 **Smartie -** God knows what they're doing

 

 **MaggieBell -** Do you all have anything to do in general

 

 **AmiraZidan -** Mag’s, I’m like halfway to your house

 

 **Smartie** \- And I have multiple tubs of ice cream that need to be eaten out

 

 **Smartie -** Because I just bought it

 

 **Smartie -** Jeez, Ray was better than the both of you

 

 **MaggieBell -** Ray, huh?

 

 **AmiraZidan-** Oooh, a new crush..?

 

 **MaggieBell -** Yeah, I’m pretty sure you have a thing for him!

 

 **Smartie -** I do not! Jeez, he’s just a friend

 

 **MaggieBell -** That’s what they all say

 

 **MaggieBell -** But I have a date next weekend

 

 **MaggieBell -** With this really nice guy named Torres

 

 **AmiraZidan -** I thought you liked OA?

 

 **Smartie -** Um, pretty sure you still do

 

 **Smartie -** I’m gonna stab you with Jubal’s pencil if you don’t

 

< If you don’t get the pencil reference, then please, go check out Jubal’s Twitter and the rest of the squad. Your missing out on backstage action. >

 

 **MaggieBell -** No I don’t

 

 **AmiraZidan -** Your leaving him for another man

 

 **AmiraZidan-** I am gravely disappointed in you

 

 **MaggieBell -** _I don’t like him goddamnit_

 

 **Smartie -** Okay, continue to like to yourself.

 

 **Smartie -** _your just friends_

 

 **MaggieBell -** Can you stop screaming lyrics outside my door now

 

**Ray Stapleton created a group chat!**

**+Ray added Ian Lentz**

**+Ray added Omar Adom ‘OA’ Zidan**

**+Ray added ineedtoshootsomeone**

**Ray changed the chats name to -** **_Therapists_ **

 

**_Therapists_ **

 

 **BurntChicken-** Guess who I saw

 

**OmarAdom‘OA’Zidan changed his name to Sunshine**

 

 **Sunshine -** Kristen.

 

 **IanLentz-** Kristen.

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** Kristen.

 

 **BurntChicken -** How’d you know?

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** you talk about her all the time

 

 **IanLentz-** does she even like you

 

 **Sunshine -** pretty sure she don’t

 

 **BurntChicken-** Hey, a guy could dream

 

 **IanLentz-** Well keep dreaming then

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** so you do like her then

 

 **BurntChicken-** no

 

 **IanLentz-** yes

 

 **Sunshine -** yeah

 

 **BurntChicken-** no, you all go into hell

 

 **BurntChicken-** and shut up OA, you like Maggie

 

 **Sunshine-** no

 

 **Sunshine -** she loves Jason

 

 **IanLentz-** you sure bout that

 

 **Sunshine -** don’t push the topic any fucking further

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** jeez, someone what’s to keep their crush low-key

 

 **BurntChicken-** what about you and the director

 

 **BurntChicken -** huh?

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** that was a lifetime ago when all we knew was lust and lost

 

 **ineedtoshootsomeone -** we fight to much when we’re young anyway

 

 **IanLentz-** u all have relationships and then there’s me

 

 **BurntChicken-** we don’t have relationships just loneliness

 

 **Sunshine -** your’re all depressed

 

**ineedtoshootsomeone changed his name to Depressed**

 

 **Depressed -** you all have your life’s ahead of you

 

 **Depressed -** and then theirs me

 

 **IanLentz -** Oh, so then what about that little post it in Maggie’s desk for a Valentine

 

 **Sunshine -** what

 

 **Sunshine -** that wasn’t me

 

 **Sunshine -** who gave her that

 

 **Sunshine -** did she like it

 

 **Sunshine -** why didn’t she tell me

 

 **Sunshine -** they’re not dating are they

 

 **Sunshine -** what if it’s a stalker

 

 **Sunshine -** or some creepy old guy

 

 **BurntChicken-** _OA CALM THE FUCK DOWN_

 

 **IanLentz -** Fucking Christ and you said yOU DIDNT LIKE HER

 

 **Sunshine -** I don’t

 

 **BurntChicken-** F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

 

 **IanLentz -** You and _Kristen are just_ **_friends_ **


	3. Story-time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tonight’s episode.

**✨ Partner In Crime ✨**

  
  


**Sunshine -** Maggie

**MaggieBell -** Yeah

**Sunshine -** so you haven’t been sleeping

**MaggieBell -** I have OA

**MaggieBell -** bits and pieces 

**Sunshine -** You know, all we can do now is wait for another clue in the case

**MaggieBell** \- I know.

**Sunshine -** do you want me to come visit you

**MaggieBell -** yes

**MaggieBell -** no

**MaggieBell -** maybe later

**Sunshine -** ???

**MaggieBell -** I’ve been thinking as to whether or not I should open up our closet

**Sunshine -** I don’t think you should

**MaggieBell -** why 

**Sunshine -** when we find Jason’s killer then you can open up his closet

**MaggieBell -** …

**MaggieBell -** Okay

**Sunshine -** I trust you

**MaggieBell -** I trust you too

**Sunshine -** So can you come over 

**Sunshine -** You can sleep in the spare bedroom if it’ll help you get sleep

**MaggieBell -** no

**Sunshine -** let me rephrase my statement 

**Sunshine -** your going to come over later and catch up on your sleep

**MaggieBell -** Fine    
  


**_Invisible_ **

 

**Depressed -** So we’re supposed to be doing some from of team bonding 

**BurntChicken -** That’s kinky

**Smartie** \- Ray STFU you annoying little shit

**BurntChicken -** Harsh words coming from someone so short

**MaggieBell -** Yeah and Kristen could kick your ass if she wanted

**Smartie -** Maybe I should

**Sunshine -** I have to go with Ray 

**MaggieBell -** OA how could you betray our partnership like that

**Sunshine -** I’m taller than the rest of you 

**Sunshine -** Don’t even rn

**IanLentz -** I thought you we’re and optimist

**Depressed -** _ Can you all shut up _

**Smartie -** No dad your not our dad

**Smartie -** Crap I can’t delete that

**BurntChicken** \- That’s the fourth stupidest thing I’ve seen today and it’s only 11 in the morning

**Smartie -** Ray you shithole

**MaggieBell -** So… mom

**DanaMosier -** Yes

**DanaMosier -** fuck

**Depressed -** Let’s just get on with this

**Depressed -** Who wants to go first

**IanLentz -** Ray go first

**BurntChicken -** Oh hell no

**BurntChicken -** Actually one of my earliest memories is when I slid down a really hot slide one summer and burnt myself 

**BurntChicken -** naked

**Smartie -** Fucking burnt chicken for real

**DanaMosier -** when I meant was actual stories not tragedies 

**Sunshine -** we’re bonding through shitty memories

**MaggieBell -** A seagull tried crashing into my window

**DanaMosier -** What is wrong with you guys

**IanLentz -** It was the bird not Maggie

**BurntChicken -** I got it

**Depressed -** You do say

**DanaMosier -** then let’s hear it

**BurntChicken -** Once, my dad found a gun in my uncles drawer - and apparently my uncle used to be part of some small gang back in the Domnican Republic and was holding the gun out on his two hands like it was a dying fish

**BurntChicken -** So when he went outside his ‘gang’ was standing their and when they saw my dad with the gun they ditched - as in like they ran for their lives

**BurntChicken -** Mom said it was true 

**Smartie -** Ray I’m worried for your health crisis for you rn

**BurntChicken -** Aw, thanks Kristen

**Sunshine -** _ Can you feel the love _

**MaggieBell -** Leave them alone OA

**IanLentz -** So my goldfish was alive for 19 years - but it was alive for only two

**IanLentz -** I believed that when the fish was floating it was alive

**IanLentz -** You don’t know how long I’ve been lied to

**Sunshine -** Please, when your uncle lies to you about his job and decides to drag your family down because he needs money and someone to take out his anger on

**Sunshine -** That’s being lied to

**Smartie -** we’re going to the dark side again

**DanaMosier -** Explain to me how this doesn’t affect your fieldwork

**Depressed -** Cancel out your emotions idiot

**DanaMosier -** You all need better coping mechanisms 

**IanLentz -** listen I’m sorry just no we’re fine

**MaggieBell -** I lied I’m dying inside

**BurntChicken -** I got bad anxiety 

**Sunshine** \- You have to become an optimist 

**Sunshine -** but if you we’re in my shoes you’d beat the shit out the person that even decides to make eye contact

**DanaMosier -** Imma leave now 

**Depressed -** Is someone breaking into your house

**Smartie -** I’m breaking into Maggie’s

**MaggieBell -** she already broke the window

**Smartie -** That’s why I’m ringing your doorbell idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m bored, so bored, I have to finish my stories... *shoves them into my closet*


End file.
